thus making me awesome and them whores
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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