Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
