So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize