You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
