If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
