I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
