he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
