Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
