just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
