it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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