My nipple is on Facebook.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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