I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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