We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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