I puked a lego.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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