so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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