Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
