So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
