Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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