At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
