I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
