Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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