Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
