I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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