So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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