that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
