It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
