doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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