i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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