They should really pass out barf bags in church
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
