Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
