How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
They took my balls.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
