Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
