why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
