Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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