you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
