I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize