Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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