is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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