help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
