I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
