No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
