I hate all girls vehemently.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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