Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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