Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
