I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
