Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
