I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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