And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
