it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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