I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
