I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
